The Day I Stopped Digging…

I was spending crazy money on weekly coaching sessions. Sitting there every week, trying to mentally untie all the knots. Trying to understand where I was still going wrong and why my life wasn't adding up.

A mother of two, I was so deep in resentment I couldn't feel joy in the happy moments. I felt numb inside. No matter how much I tried to think my way out, I was still stuck and miserable.

Then one session, something in my gut said: "This is the last time."

I knew I was done. Done with sitting there continuously digging for one more day. Done with trying to mentally "be right" about my behavior, my thoughts, my perspective on everything.

My mind had the reigns and it was driving me crazy. More than that, I was so dissatisfied, I kept throwing bombs into the good things in my life to justify how shitty I felt.

The thing about having some kind of practice is that there's a voice behind all the mental noise. And if you care to listen, it really does have answers.

My gut told me to meditate. Not to fix anything or find anything. Just to sit.

So I put on a 30-minute vipassana practice. Vipassana is the art of sitting with what is. Just feeling whatever's there without trying to change it.

And I understood something that changed everything: I was trying to fix something that wasn't broken.

Sometimes the answer isn't to dig deeper. Sometimes it's to stop digging altogether and to ask what am I even digging for?